Nutty Bald Bastard II: The Clumps

  I'm sure you're wondering where I came up with an obscenely simplistic maxim like "life is clumpy" to sum up all the complexities of existence. It started, as so many of these random, insane thoughts do, with a conversation that I had at work.
  A co-worker and I were commenting on how there never seemed to be a steady stream of customers. If you've never worked a cash register for hours at a time, it goes a little something like this; people approach the counter in groups, like flocking birds. There won't be anyone for 20 minutes. Then, all of a sudden, one person will decide they're ready to go. Once they walk up to the counter, there's an almost visible tipping effect. Everyone in the immediate vicinity who was on the verge of being finished with their shopping suddenly decides that they're ready too. You can really almost see it. One person steps up. The rest of the browsers will cock their heads just slightly, and start lining up, like sheep waiting to be shorn of their woolen money. Just like a flock of birds avoiding... a predator... run! *stomp stomp stomp*
  Okay, Jurassic Park references aside, it really does happen. Long stretches of nothing punctuated by intense bursts of activity. (Intense being a relative term, of course. It's hectic, to be sure, but I realize we're not running a triathlon or anything.) It occured to me that I'd heard many other things described in similar terms. War, for instance. Ask anyone who has ever seen combat about what it was like. If they don't use the phrase "hurry up and wait" at least once, I'll send you a green piece of paper on which I have written "This is REAL money!" in crayon.
  College was pretty clumpy, too. Maybe each class had a steady, regular slate of papers and exams, but when combined with an entire schedule, it certainly felt like everything was due at the same time. You want clumps? Try publishing a student magazine. Weeks of very little work, and then the whole thing had to be built from scratch in two or three weekends. Still not convinced? I guess you've never driven, ever. You motor along fine as the traffic gets heavier and then, at some point, everything stops moving. Gridlock = clumps!