Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Why does it take you so long to answer people's questions?
- LBB
Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Because I'm a slack-ass.

  The bachelor party turned out pretty much as I expected. Everybody sat around and drank. Huzzah.

  The human body is an unreliable mechanism, confounded by the simplest methods. For instance, today I had to have some cavities filled. While dental work certainly isn't my favorite thing in the world, I am by no means phobic. However, I am always dismayed by the lingering effects of the anaesthetic. I am most grateful that I can have dental work performed relatively discomfort-free. (No Marathon Man for me) But here I sit, two hours after the procedure was performed, and my face feels just as numb as it did when I sat down in the chair. It's as if I have a side of beef hanging from the right side of my head. I can almost feel my cheek liquefying and sliding onto my shoulder. Imagine if the dentist had decided to jam that needle full of pain-killer into my heart?